Yesterday was -

I honestly don't know how to finish that sentence. I’m exhausted emotionally and dreading moving forward again. We put an offer on a house. It was a good house and an even better offer. There is no reason we shouldn't have gotten that house but we didn’t. Cash won as it always does. And cash $20k over asking definitely wins every time. Trust me, I get it. As a recent seller I know I’d make the same decision. But in a city where we feel like we don't belong, this just solidified that feeling a bit more. I know realistically this isn't the case but its hard to not take it personally. 

To move forward we are going to have to settle. Settle on a house we might not really want, settle on an area thats not quite right, or settle on a price we aren't super comfortable with. And because of the settling suddenly this whole process doesn't feel right. This was supposed to be different. We were supposed to be able to be picky and take our time and get exactly what we want the second time around. After this latest heartbreak, I’m realizing this isn't the case.

The house hunt has begun. This time the search is drastically different from than our first house for a number of reasons.


That main difference between then and now: we thought we'd be in Atlanta forever. Looking back I know see that this was a naive and ridiculous thought. This time around, we know it won't be our forever house. Maybe we could be surprised but Wisconsin is not close to any family and we know we want our roots a bit closer to home.


With our first house we had no idea what to look for, with our Wisconsin house we know WAY too much about being a homeowner and are skeptical about every detail. For example: we just went to see a house and it had this cozy, feeling but the house also seemed to be angled strangely. If we were first time buyers we might think, oh its just settling and thats how the house is. NOPE now we know it could be structural issues NOT a quaint Hobbit like feel to the house. Yeah, we ran out of that house. PS the house's main support beam was cut and being held up by structural jacks... no thank you!


With our first house we bought bigger and decided we could grow into it. With this house, because we don't know length of stay we are buying much smaller. Like half the size. 


With our first house, we bought a fixer upper that we could live in as we fixed. With this house, it will either be move in ready or we will fix it before we actually move in. 


There are a number of items we are looking for that we didn't want or even think of having in our last house. I love that we're really weighting all options and hopefully getting exactly what we want but I can't help but have this exasperated, desperate defeated feeling like we will never find a house that checks all the boxes. There is not a lot on the market in the area we are looking, the houses are much older and need a good amount of work. The taxes are higher and the schools aren't great. 


One option we are playing with is seeing if our landlords would be willing to sell us this house. It needs work and the floor plan of the house isn't quite what we're looking for and theres no way of making it what we want. If we ended up in this house we’d be settling and because of that we are searching.

Finally starting to settle in. Book shelves are up, boxes are being unpacked. There have been countless trips to Goodwill, a ridiculous number of trash bags out by the curb. Its been three months and day to day routine is finally starting to slow down and normalize. And for this, I am so grateful. 


Our entry way is normally covered in a layer of coats and boots but I brought out my camera on a day where we shoved it all away. I am counting down the days till warm weather comes and we can ditch the jackets. Until then, our front hall closet will continue to pop open with the puffiness of winter. 

Things I would love to see in the space: new paint, new light fixture, some closet organization system, and some new window treatments. 


E's room is so close to being finished. I'm struggling with how much to decorate since we are only renting this house. Ultimately I would love new window treatments, accent wall with wall paper, and a more permeant storage solution (since no closets in this house) but with an unknown move out date I'm holding back a bit. I will post more photos once the rest of the room is all set. 


The living room has been our safe and clean space for a few weeks now. This was originally the dining room of the house. All of the built in shelves have peg holes, which we assume was for dish racks. This room is directly off the kitchen and makes more sense as a dining room however, I couldn't resist the big windows for a cozy living room feel. New curtains and window treatments will be happening if we stay longer than our initial lease and the big wingback chairs will be reupholstered in a burgundy fabric. 

Our mantle needs some TLC. Its marble and gorgeous but theres a huge crack in the bottom of it.  The marble is badly stained at the bottom too. My best guess is its from the grout from the tile beneath. I have been researching marble restoration but it seems a bit more daunting than I'm currently able to do. The actual fireplace does not work. It's actually bricked over behind the plate. 


The shelves - another reason for making this the living room. I love these shelves but having some trouble styling them. I'm terrified they have too much on them and making the room look cluttered. The main items I wanted showcased on them were a bottle collection my grandmother had given me just before she passed (she collected them for years and a number of them are incredibly old) and all of our immediate families wedding photos. This is something Greg had surprised me with at our own wedding. 


Our lives have a new motto: "unpack, clean, survive." After being here for almost a month I had hoped to post a nice little house tour, however, there is nothing pretty about this stage and we are no where close to looking settled. Instead, here are snipits of our life as everything currently stands and maybe you'll begin to understand why I'm so close to going insane. 


Since moving north, a few things have changed drastically in our lives. The first, laundry seems to have exploded. I'm talking like 3 loads a day. Second, my coffee consumption is off the chart. Third, somehow, we all have three times as many socks and you can NEVER find their pairs.  


The boxes. Happy to report the boxes are slowly being removed from the house. So grateful to finally have more space. 


There are small corners that are feeling settled but overall a long way to go still. Once things are a bit more styled and pretty I promise to share those photos. Fingers crossed we will get to that stage soon. 

A few months ago, I made the decision to make a separate account for my photography on social media. There were a few reasons for that decision, but mainly I knew we were moving and knew family and friends would want a space to keep up with our new lives.  I've battled how to handle blogging. I am in no way a good writer and do have a flair for rambling (sorry in advanced). I will do my best to keep this real life and simple. So here it is. 

"Bittersweet" barely scratches the surfaces as a descriptive word for today. In a few hours we officially close a huge chapter of our lives; we say goodbye to our first house. My heart is broken from the flood of memories but simultaneously so full. I know this isn't an odd mixture of feelings for any first time home seller but it is incredibly overwhelming. This was our first house. This was the house we bought thinking it would be our forever home.

Our house had its share of issues and by saying that I'm being polite. It was actually filled with ridiculous fixer upper drama. Who would have ever dreamt that my husband would fall through a flight of stairs within the first year or that our freezer would catch on fire? Or that a wall had to be rebuilt 3 times? This house was a huge undertaking but over the past 4 1/2 years we slowly built each room to fit us. We weren't even close to being done. 


In this house we got married, we fought, we laughed, we cried, we said goodbye to loved ones, started careers, changed careers, made lifelong friends, stayed up late laughing with family, travelled the world, held an annual macaroni and cheese competition, struggled with infertility and miscarriage, welcomed a sweet, sassy little girl into our family, and so, so much more. There have been so many tears in this house but also more joy and excitement than I ever thought possible. I think its fair to say this house has shaped us and to say goodbye is extremely difficult.